Mother’s Day without Mum

The following blog post is written by Corporate Fundraiser Lauren Ferguson whose mum, Maggie, passed away within our In-Patient Unit.

 

Pictured is Lauren with her mum Maggie, sister Karen and brother Ross.

Mother’s Day can be a lovely day to celebrate your Mum and all she has done for you. For some, this can be a painful reminder that your Mum is not there. Whether this is because she has passed away, you aren’t in touch with her, have had a fall out, she doesn’t live locally- whatever it might be, Mother’s Day can be hard to face. It can also be extremely difficult for Mum’s who have lost a child.

Having lost my Mum almost 3 years ago to cancer, this year will be the third Mother’s Day without her. The first one was March 2020 when the pandemic was just kicking off, so it didn’t affect me too much as celebrations were minimal, with many people unable to celebrate or see their Mum on Mother’s Day.

Last year, my sister & I decided that instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and envying those that got to celebrate it, we would give something back. Kilbryde Hospice were offering deliveries of Afternoon Tea, so we volunteered to deliver some of them. It was a welcome distraction and we thoroughly enjoyed delivering them to deserving Mums, who were all delighted with their delivery!

 

If you are feeling a bit lost this year, here are some suggestions if Mother’s Day is a day you are dreading:

Celebrate other Mum figures

If you have another Mum figure in your life, celebrate them! For myself, I have my sister who has a son, my grandma, Aunties and Step-Mum, so it’s nice to make them feel special, especially when they have lost someone too.

Stay off social media

Social Media can be overwhelming at the best of times, but when everyone posts photos with their Mum and photos of their nice day out, it can be hard to see. So just switch off for the day!

Have a self-care day.

Everyone is big on self-care these days, so this is no different! Have a bath, do a facemask, go for a nice long walk. Do something you enjoy that will bring you a wee bit of happiness or just a distraction!

Do nothing

 Everyone loves a duvet day. Enjoy a wee Netflix on the couch day!

If you are on the other side of things and have a friend who has lost their Mum and maybe aren’t sure how to approach them/if you should say anything- a wee message always goes a long way.

I am very lucky that on Mother’s Day and any other significant dates, my nearest & dearest will send a wee ‘thinking of you’ message, which although can make me a wee bit emotional, is appreciated probably a lot more than you know!